Verse: Matthew 19: 3-12
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ’made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Devotion
We are currently going through Matthew one section at a time. And this is the good thing about reading the Bible that way: you don’t get to skip over challenging sections. Lucky me, I landed this passage!
It’s interesting that this passage says that the Pharisees were trying to test (or trap) Jesus. The trap was in a controversy at the time between two priests and their followers, a conservative priest named Shammai and a more liberal priest, Hillel. Shammai said that divorce was only permitted when there is adultery and Hillel allowed just about any grievance by the husband to be grounds for divorce (burnt food!). If Jesus picked the Shammai side, he could be less popular and if he picked the Hillel side, he would be seen as less scriptural. Jesus did not pick either side but went back to scripture in Genesis to tell the Pharisees what marriage was supposed to be.
I know that this subject can be very controversial in Christian circles with society pushing toward easy divorces. But we can learn some important things from this text when dealing with difficult social trends.
First – As Jesus shows us, go back to the Bible and see what it says. It is important to be grounded in all that is said about a subject. (more on husbands and wives in 1 Cor 7, Eph 5, 1 Peter, Malachi 2). I think this is lesson beyond just marriage and divorce. In all things where you can feel the push and pull of popular opinions in society, we can find secure ground in the Word of God.
Second – God takes marriage seriously. It is a covenant before God between a man and a woman. It should not be entered into lightly or disposed of easily. It’s interesting how Jesus affirms the power and importance of our commitment to one another in marriage. Both sides were obsessing out of “how to get out of this” and basically missing the point. Marriage is a picture of God’s relationship and commitment to us (Ephesians 5). And his call is for us to model that kind of love and commitment towards one another. Instead of flowing along with culture’s attitudes on how to get out of marriage, the Bible challenges us to work together on ourselves and find the beauty of staying together even through hard times (and yes, I know, that is easier said than done. More to come on that at the end).
Third – It is also important to note that Jesus creates safeguards for when people break the covenant. He shows that he doesn’t just care about “an institution” but he cares about the people in the marriage. Some circles of Christianity have used this passage to force women in particular to stay in abusive relationships. That isn’t the point of this passage at all. Jesus, rather, affirms that there are legitimate grounds for separation or divorce (adultery, abandonment, abuse). While re-stating from Creation the holy importance of marriage, he also protects the people within the marriage.
Takeaways for me (and if you have any problems with what I wrote – definitely email Christian not me! haha) are (1) the Scripture, not culture, should drive how we follow Jesus in any area including marriage; (2) God cares about marriages AND he cares about the people in marriages. Both things can be true. Let us use wisdom and love as we apply this to our lives.
Sidenote: If you are having marital problems (and most of us have at one time or another in our marriages), talk to someone who you consider wise in the Lord. You can reach out to Christian or Mandy or your small group leader. The church is here to walk with us through the difficult times not just the easy ones.
PRAYER
Dear Lord, we pray for those that are having marital issues. Soften our hearts so that we hear your voice and our spouse’s voice concerning all of our family issues. We need your wisdom, Lord.
Author: Brad Dunn
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